So Josiah Levi Foster was born today, at 1:38pm, weighing in at 7 pounds 7 ounces, and measuring 19 1/2 inches, at Mercy Hospital in downtown Des Moines. Very exciting, very exhausting, very memorable day!
Tomorrow we will be starting the series of tests and check-ups to see if there is a problem with his kidneys, and whether or not surgery will be needed. Besides that, Kasey had to go through another c-section; neither of us wanted one in the first place as they seem to add a flavor of "NASCAR pit crew doing business as usual" to what should be a time of rejoicing and praise, welcoming new life into the world. But, with Kasey's first delivery experience being less than pleasurable, we went with the tried-and-true this time around. So far things are going great; Kasey is doing well and recovering, and baby Josiah is healthy and strong, eyes wide open and taking it all in.
It feels weird being at home with just me and Ben here, and Kasey and Josiah in the hospital. Hopefully, we will be able to come home Thursday night instead of Friday morning, so we might be able to start our new lives with two boys that much sooner!
Ice cream tastes great. Movies and television can be entertaining. A good book can invigorate and educate. Friends and family can support you and make you laugh. But when you hear your son cry out for the first time, and see him for the first time, and hold him for the first time, all else fades away and becomes sheer nonsense.
I wish I had more and better words to help describe the feeling; you're in this room filled with bright lights, expensive medical tools, nurses running all around holding stuff or getting ready to hold stuff, and doctors doing who-knows-what on the other side of the curtain separating you and your wife from all the "action." You're holding your wife's hand, wondering if you should try to convince her to let you take a picture of her in this emotional and traumatic state because everyone wants to remember this part. You can hear the doctors discussing the game plan on the other side of the curtain: "With a snip snip here, and a cut cut there..." "Don't touch that." "Where's the manual?" All of a sudden, the banter stops, the nurses stop running around, and you hear it: the first cry. Your heart stops, your eyes water up, you try and catch a glimpse of him as he comes forth into the world. Next thing you know, he's taken over to a table where he's poked and examined and cleaned for what seems like eternity, before being wrapped up and taken over to see Mommy. And the whole time this is going on, the doctors are high-fiving each other; you're trying to keep from getting steam-rolled by the delivery nurses while trying to wrestle them out of the way for the best camera angle; and you still haven't taken a breath or seen through clear eyes.
There, maybe those words will help.
But I doubt it.
"Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love."
-Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God." -Colossians 3:1 (ESV)
July 7, 2009
June 14, 2009
Those Uncomfortable Questions: Breaking Silences and Comfort Zones
Nothing like getting up early on an overcast Saturday morning to get to as many garage sales as possible, before all the good books and Pottery Barn baskets are sold. Starbucks helps though. That, and finding one or two books that you hadn't expected to find, or that had been trying to find for years. Then you get to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home while your son naps and your wife is out shopping (of course) and you mow the lawn. Except that last part. Instead, you waste a full two hours eating lunch, watching Scrubs, and milling about on the computer (not writing a single thing). Oh, the simple things. I'm pretty sure the question "Baby, can you mow the lawn while I'm gone" will only ever make me think of other possible ways to waste two hours. That is, until your wife comes home finally, and you go outside to greet her, and the grass actually does seem pretty tall and you have nothing to show for the two hours she was gone besides a guilty conscience and a full stomach.
Then in Sunday school, on a somewhat-lazy, laid-back morning looking forward to spending time learning and growing and maturing, you're hit with not a few surprises. Namely, some questions, or rather an entire discussion, that wakes you up a lot better than the scratchy homemade coffee does (no time for Starbucks that morning). Instead of the Sunday class listening to and soaking up the teaching, someone who's relatively new asks some rarely-heard questions of the group leader that makes all sit up and catch their breath.
People tend to underestimate the power and potential of questions nowadays. The questions we ask can accomplish multiple things, besides as a means of getting the answers we want to the questions we ask. We can reveal what we really think and feel about a person or subject. We can also reveal how little we really know about them or it. We can suddenly show our true colors and true agenda, where before we just went with the flow, waiting for the right time to strike. With just the right tone, just the right choice of words, with just the right timing we can change the whole mood and meaning of, say, a Sunday school group meeting. With questions, we can challenge assumptions and beliefs, forcing the spotlight on a subject that doesn't get much every-day discussion and practically requires entire theological dissertations to explain and defend.
With questions having the power and potential they do, it is supremely important that we understand how we react to and view them, for there is such a thing as different kinds of questions. Peter writes in his first letter that we as believers must always be "ready to make a defense... for the hope that is in you (NASB)," which seems to be easier said than done, especially when those asking questions of us have a set agenda and know how to pinpoint and exploit weaknesses (like the lack of good coffee). Not that we can excuse ourselves by this, but we must at the same time acknowledge where and what our weaknesses are, in order to repair and replenish before the next question, which will most certainly come. We are to be prepared. But that doesn't mean we will only be questioned when we are ready; in fact, for some strange we only seem to get questions when we are at the least ready. Quite strange, in fact.
Yet just because some questions are asked of us with intentional malice or to support an agenda, does not mean that we should look down upon all questions and questioning. In fact, the Bereans in Acts were called "noble-minded" for their "searching (of) the Scriptures," and for comparing what was written with what was being preached to them. By definition, "searching... to see whether these things were so" would denote someone asking questions, asking for clarification on a difficult passage, or how this one teaching is influenced by another passage. Too often we look down on someone in the church who asks a lot of questions; we brush them off with something like a casual "just have more faith" comment. While there is a point where we are to have the "child-like faith" that Christ talks about, that does not remove the need for some of us to ask another question or two before we can get to that point.
The motives behind questions are the biggest thing to consider when responding. The questioner could just be trying to prove a point by proving you wrong, or could be trying their hardest to understand the bountiful grace of our Holy Father. To those that come at us with swords drawn, we must be prepared to stand tall and meet them head-on, in order to both defend and convince of the truth. With others we must do our best to answer questions, praying for wisdom along the way, while we both grow in our eternal hope together. We should not take the sword to the one who merely wants to understand, nor should we simply sit down and have a dialogue with those that seek to hinder, pervert, and destroy.
The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.
-Benjamin Franklin
Then in Sunday school, on a somewhat-lazy, laid-back morning looking forward to spending time learning and growing and maturing, you're hit with not a few surprises. Namely, some questions, or rather an entire discussion, that wakes you up a lot better than the scratchy homemade coffee does (no time for Starbucks that morning). Instead of the Sunday class listening to and soaking up the teaching, someone who's relatively new asks some rarely-heard questions of the group leader that makes all sit up and catch their breath.
People tend to underestimate the power and potential of questions nowadays. The questions we ask can accomplish multiple things, besides as a means of getting the answers we want to the questions we ask. We can reveal what we really think and feel about a person or subject. We can also reveal how little we really know about them or it. We can suddenly show our true colors and true agenda, where before we just went with the flow, waiting for the right time to strike. With just the right tone, just the right choice of words, with just the right timing we can change the whole mood and meaning of, say, a Sunday school group meeting. With questions, we can challenge assumptions and beliefs, forcing the spotlight on a subject that doesn't get much every-day discussion and practically requires entire theological dissertations to explain and defend.
With questions having the power and potential they do, it is supremely important that we understand how we react to and view them, for there is such a thing as different kinds of questions. Peter writes in his first letter that we as believers must always be "ready to make a defense... for the hope that is in you (NASB)," which seems to be easier said than done, especially when those asking questions of us have a set agenda and know how to pinpoint and exploit weaknesses (like the lack of good coffee). Not that we can excuse ourselves by this, but we must at the same time acknowledge where and what our weaknesses are, in order to repair and replenish before the next question, which will most certainly come. We are to be prepared. But that doesn't mean we will only be questioned when we are ready; in fact, for some strange we only seem to get questions when we are at the least ready. Quite strange, in fact.
Yet just because some questions are asked of us with intentional malice or to support an agenda, does not mean that we should look down upon all questions and questioning. In fact, the Bereans in Acts were called "noble-minded" for their "searching (of) the Scriptures," and for comparing what was written with what was being preached to them. By definition, "searching... to see whether these things were so" would denote someone asking questions, asking for clarification on a difficult passage, or how this one teaching is influenced by another passage. Too often we look down on someone in the church who asks a lot of questions; we brush them off with something like a casual "just have more faith" comment. While there is a point where we are to have the "child-like faith" that Christ talks about, that does not remove the need for some of us to ask another question or two before we can get to that point.
The motives behind questions are the biggest thing to consider when responding. The questioner could just be trying to prove a point by proving you wrong, or could be trying their hardest to understand the bountiful grace of our Holy Father. To those that come at us with swords drawn, we must be prepared to stand tall and meet them head-on, in order to both defend and convince of the truth. With others we must do our best to answer questions, praying for wisdom along the way, while we both grow in our eternal hope together. We should not take the sword to the one who merely wants to understand, nor should we simply sit down and have a dialogue with those that seek to hinder, pervert, and destroy.
The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.
-Benjamin Franklin
May 30, 2009
The Challenging and Unforgettable Moments: Diapers and Books and Lawn mowers
So up until a couple days ago you'd think I'd forgotten all about writing. Well, I had, and Kasey writing again on her blogger inspired me to get back on track also.
I am daunted and yet not at all scared with the thought of having another baby boy come into the world in just over a month. It will take some time to adjust and get used to having another crazy boy around, with more diapers, and more food to make, and more sleep to lose. But there's also even more laughs, more unforgettable moments, and more joy from watching them grow ever bigger and stronger. Just earlier tonight, Ben actually hugged me; not the normal okay-I'll-let-Daddy-hug-me stuff, but when I picked him up he actually put his arms around me and squeezed and then patted my back. Oh, those unforgettable moments. They more than make up for the lost sleep and thin patience, and point out how silly our own desires can be compared to being there for a child.
I graduated from DMACC. No more community college (for now), next step is that bachelor's degree. Kasey and I were driving tonight, and she said something like "You realize we graduated high school 5 years ago?" And then we both thought/said "We should have college degrees by now!" That is, according to normal cultural expectations. We just decided to move to Iowa, get married, have kids, mow the lawn (or try), and skip a couple years worth of school in there. Which, working in the student loan field that I do (and doing the job that I do), I can confidently say that we are much better off for it. That degree (and others) will come, but in their own season. This fall I start at AIB College of Business, for a degree in business administration. The financial aid award letter came a while back, and seems like I will have to pay for just books out of pocket, unless I want to use company tuition reimbursement. So that was a tremendous blessing, one that I must not forget or forgoe. Side note: I've been thinking about small bookstores and rental properties a lot recently. Might just be my "Oh yummy, kool-aid!" habit coming up, but we'll see what God has in store.
I've been doing a lot of reading these last few weeks, especially since I've had all the extra time from no schoolwork. Now there's lots of time to read, no more textbooks and online exams and essays for a while. I just finished The Church Impotent, by Leon Podles, about how the Church in the West has slowly embraced liberalism and feminism, and as a result alienated men and practically outlawed authentic, Biblical masculinity. Very interesting, I'll probably write on here about it soon. I also just finished some garage sale fine, a children's encyclopedia volume on the American Civil War. Right now I'm reading a book on breastfeeding (why do there have to always be pictures?!?) and an apologetics book by RC Sproul. I have a long list of books to get through before the summer ends, nay before the baby comes.
I did read And the Shofar Blew by Francine Rivers again, and I will probably read it again by the end of the summer. Hard-hitting book, I cry a lot. Very spell-binding story, amazing characters, and well-written. Makes you think about ministry and how it can affect family and friendships; what the Church truly is and is not; and how messed up portions of the American church are. One of the things that always hits me hardest is the family relationships part. The main character struggles with his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father, as well as relating to his mother and wife and son. I can't help but think about my own relationship with my family, my mom and dad and brothers and sister; can't help but see where I have done things wrong, have caused pain and harm. Reading this book again showed me how far I have yet to come, and what I still have to do to make things right, at least as much as I personally can. There are still responsibilities and consequences that others must own up to, and God Himself still has work yet to do amidst the whole situation, but that doesn't mean I can neglect or ignore what I have to do. Nothing like a fictional book to make me finally understand that, and to see where I still struggle and to where I need to be.
I must finish this up, as it is getting late, and I have more reading to do.
Parents may have a dozen children, but each one is the only one for them.
-Aramaic proverb
I am daunted and yet not at all scared with the thought of having another baby boy come into the world in just over a month. It will take some time to adjust and get used to having another crazy boy around, with more diapers, and more food to make, and more sleep to lose. But there's also even more laughs, more unforgettable moments, and more joy from watching them grow ever bigger and stronger. Just earlier tonight, Ben actually hugged me; not the normal okay-I'll-let-Daddy-hug-me stuff, but when I picked him up he actually put his arms around me and squeezed and then patted my back. Oh, those unforgettable moments. They more than make up for the lost sleep and thin patience, and point out how silly our own desires can be compared to being there for a child.
I graduated from DMACC. No more community college (for now), next step is that bachelor's degree. Kasey and I were driving tonight, and she said something like "You realize we graduated high school 5 years ago?" And then we both thought/said "We should have college degrees by now!" That is, according to normal cultural expectations. We just decided to move to Iowa, get married, have kids, mow the lawn (or try), and skip a couple years worth of school in there. Which, working in the student loan field that I do (and doing the job that I do), I can confidently say that we are much better off for it. That degree (and others) will come, but in their own season. This fall I start at AIB College of Business, for a degree in business administration. The financial aid award letter came a while back, and seems like I will have to pay for just books out of pocket, unless I want to use company tuition reimbursement. So that was a tremendous blessing, one that I must not forget or forgoe. Side note: I've been thinking about small bookstores and rental properties a lot recently. Might just be my "Oh yummy, kool-aid!" habit coming up, but we'll see what God has in store.
I've been doing a lot of reading these last few weeks, especially since I've had all the extra time from no schoolwork. Now there's lots of time to read, no more textbooks and online exams and essays for a while. I just finished The Church Impotent, by Leon Podles, about how the Church in the West has slowly embraced liberalism and feminism, and as a result alienated men and practically outlawed authentic, Biblical masculinity. Very interesting, I'll probably write on here about it soon. I also just finished some garage sale fine, a children's encyclopedia volume on the American Civil War. Right now I'm reading a book on breastfeeding (why do there have to always be pictures?!?) and an apologetics book by RC Sproul. I have a long list of books to get through before the summer ends, nay before the baby comes.
I did read And the Shofar Blew by Francine Rivers again, and I will probably read it again by the end of the summer. Hard-hitting book, I cry a lot. Very spell-binding story, amazing characters, and well-written. Makes you think about ministry and how it can affect family and friendships; what the Church truly is and is not; and how messed up portions of the American church are. One of the things that always hits me hardest is the family relationships part. The main character struggles with his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father, as well as relating to his mother and wife and son. I can't help but think about my own relationship with my family, my mom and dad and brothers and sister; can't help but see where I have done things wrong, have caused pain and harm. Reading this book again showed me how far I have yet to come, and what I still have to do to make things right, at least as much as I personally can. There are still responsibilities and consequences that others must own up to, and God Himself still has work yet to do amidst the whole situation, but that doesn't mean I can neglect or ignore what I have to do. Nothing like a fictional book to make me finally understand that, and to see where I still struggle and to where I need to be.
I must finish this up, as it is getting late, and I have more reading to do.
Parents may have a dozen children, but each one is the only one for them.
-Aramaic proverb
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