I was going to wait until later to write Part #2, but it's already really late, my words are fresh in my mind, and judging from the frequency of my last posts, I wouldn't have finished Part 2 until March. So here I am, going to be writing two blogs in the same month for the first time ever!
I left off previously with the dramatic poetic finish of how I don't know what's next, but the Father does. While that is very true, I wanted to share what I think might be next, or what "next" might look like.
My greatest, strongest, attention-getting drive is to make a difference. I've never wanted to be the kind of person that works a 9-5 job for 40-plus years, sits in the same church pew for as many years, and dies with just his immediate family missing him. I've always wanted something greater, grander, more dangerous than just being a cubicle-sitter and pew-warmer.
Now, let me clear something up. Before I realized how dumb I am, I wanted to make a "difference" by being a big-time Los Angeles music producer, making a bunch of money, attending all the award shows, and having my name printed in magazines and on billboards. Remembering back on this now just makes me laugh. So, to make sure we understand one another, I don't want to be famous or infamous or popular or adored; that's dumb.
What I do want is to "go out with my boots on." This line comes from one of my favorite films, "Secondhand Lions," with Robert Duvall and Michael Caine and Haley Joe Osment. It's about this young boy who doesn't have a father and whose mother deserts him with his two "crazy" uncles. It's a story that I grew to love, as it deals with some serious issues like manhood and having that male role model to guide and help you, and has some great ol' fashioned sword fighting scenes to boot. But one of the great points of the story is the type of men that the two uncles are, men who don't shy away from danger, who make right and moral decisions, and provide that strong guidance that the wayward young man needs. In the end, they are upheld as men who "went out with their boots on," as in they didn't lounge about watching television all day, or gradually lose all sense of their individuality sitting in a cubicle their entire lives. They walked with shoulders tall, unwavering.
This movie example leads me to my next point: how hard it is to balance the demands of our "modern" world with the desire to live life wearing boots wanting to make a difference. My family has to be first and foremost, for what kind of a man would I be if I could coach a winning team, or get that great promotion, or win that Nobel Prize while my wife and kids are miserable, lonely, and into drugs or worse? I wouldn't be a real man, that's for sure. If a man can't take care of his own family, how can he expect to change the world? Men who think that they need to divorce their wife and break up their family because their ministry is more important or "holier," or who think the executive position half-way around the globe is what's best for their family, are mistaken at best, selfish and blind at worst.
Then how can I best make a difference; how can I use the loves I've been given by my Creator and keep my family first? Part of this answer falls into the "I don't know, but my Father does" category. But I know that part of the answer has to do with a funny fact about boots: did you know that they can be worn anywhere? At the mall, in a classroom, on a battlefield, in space, at a desk, or while pulling your son around in his wagon and holding your wife's hand.
The "boots" I'm talking about don't need to be worn at a certain time, on a certain day, for a certain career path. No, the boots I'm talking about can be worn by anyone, anytime, anywhere, as it's not so much a type of footwear but more like knowing that there is more to the world than the four cloud grey walls of your cubicle, more to life than this month's bills, more out there to enjoy than just a piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Knowing that there is a purpose is just as important as knowing what that purpose is.
The End... but I'm sure I'll talk about this topic more in the coming days and weeks and years. There's lots of loose ends to clear up.
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