I wonder if anyone out there is entertained by me saying in every single post that I'm going to write more often, "try harder next time," "it's a new beginning," and all sorts of other witty sayings? And then I don't write anything for a month or two. I find it funny.
So today/tonight I decided that I wasn't actually tired, and that I should stay up late and write something, anything, to take away some of the funny guilt. I don't have a plan for this one, this is one of my "free-ranging" posts, one without a purpose, but still enjoyable to write.
My wife and I had a date night tonight, our first in months and months. We definitely can't go that long again without a date night. We really needed one; with the holidays, family, work, school, etc. all piling up around the end of the year, we didn't have a chance for our monthly (at least!) date night. So, for Christmas I got two tickets to go see "Triple Espresso," and it was great! Hilarious, out-loud non-stop laughing the entire two hours. So much fun. Then we drove in the freezing rain to one of our favorite dining establishments, Panera, where we ate a hearty dinner before picking up Ben from his grandparents to head on home. All together a great night, lots of fun and quiet time alone with just Kasey and I, some rough spots here and there (namely when we would slide all over the ice-covered roads), but overall an amazing night.
Hey it's 2009 now. Sounds so far into the future. On my birthday I've never felt older, but for some reason when it's a new year I can really feel it. This year is going to be something special, with a new baby, transferring schools, hopefully getting hired on so no more temping, lots of changes both exciting and perhaps freaky.
So I am 99.9% sure on what bachelor's degree I'm going for now: business administration. Something that I can put to good use practically anywhere, with any company, in any field, in the corporate world or in ministry. And, if I still want to do some teaching down the road, I can get a masters that would allow me to teach at the college level. Right now I have one more term of DMACC left, then the plan is to transfer to Upper Iowa University. They have (according to 3rd party research) one of the best online degree programs in the country, so I can earn that coveted BS by taking all online classes. Yippee! I'm excited to see what comes next, but for now, it's a great, calming feeling to know that there's a goal, that I finally have something set in stone to shoot for. Plus, I only have one more term of INSTE left to finish the certificate in Christian Ministry, so that's more good news.
Tomorrow is laundry day, because we've fallen so far behind on it. Depending on how the weather is tonight and how clear the roads are, we might have to skip church yet again (sad-face), so we would get that pesky laundry done and most likely finish putting the Christmas decorations away (another sad-face). Then another back-to-the-grind work week starts, and this time without a holiday to shorten the week. I hope to hear a final decision and a job offer from work sometime this week; they keep saying that it's going to happen, but I won't stop holding my breath until I sign the contract. It would be so nice to finally have a real job, a secure job, with no more temp jobs!
Well that's all for now folks. Tomorrow I think I'm going to ask Kasey if we want to write down some New Year's resolutions, so maybe I'll have another post here pretty soon. Until then, a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
P.S.- GO ISRAEL!!!
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God." -Colossians 3:1 (ESV)
January 4, 2009
December 15, 2008
Those Leg-Tapping Sounds: Melodies and Memories
This last week or so I've found myself listening to more and more music, a lot more than I have in a long time. I think it started once the homework started piling up; I would turn on some Nickel Creek to distract me while I rushed to catch up on my China and music appreciation classes. There's something about music, some genres more than others, that calms me and allows me to focus more.
Then, once school was done for the term (finally), and I was staying up late on this blog writing about how I never write, I started visiting some old favorites. I started listening to Kutless, Third Day, David Crowder Band, and some others, all my favorites that up until a couple nights ago I hadn't listened to in a long time. After I had worn out those, I would go on Myspace Music and play some of my even older favorites, like Nickelback, Linkin' Park, and right now I have Staind playing. I don't make it a habit to listen to much secular music, but when you're young and home schooled you look for any reason to be cool.
Listening to all these songs that I hadn't listened to in years, since my early years of high school for some of them, brought back some memories. Old memories of high school life, of homework, youth ministry, all-night video games, and Mountain Dew. Oh my, how I used to do the Dew. It was the fuel that allowed all us private school nerds to survive and thrive through an entire night of destroying one another in endless Halo and WarCraft battles.
Another thing that brought up these memories was when Kasey and I were reflecting on high school again this weekend, remembering parties and homework and boyfriends (only her on that last one, just to make sure we're clear). We laughed about the times we wasted, the food we used to eat with no second thoughts, the relationships that were and now are no more, and ended the conversation with observing how much we miss those days and yet don't at the same time.
During high school, there was nothing more fun than getting together with my few friends and going on a sugar-high all night to play as long as we could before finally crashing on whatever couch or chair or floor corner was available. I enjoyed the homework more then too. Back then I wrote papers on the monarchs of Europe or a re-write of Hamlet; now I write ten different papers on China-U.S.-Taiwan relations, or read an entire textbook and then take a quiz based primarily off the chapter titles. And now the latest I can stay up is about 2 or 3 in the morning, and that's only if I am writing a blog or writing out another China paper. Oh and now Mountain Dew disgusts me. I imagine that goat pee tastes about the same.
Looking at where I am now, I can't believe that I thought that was all fun. Maybe my innocence was destroyed after Bible college, or my first full time job, or getting married and having kids; I don't know (big surprise). But I do know that reading to my son or spending time with my wife does not compare in any way to playing some dumb computer game, no matter how great the game is or how many friends you play it with.
High school was great, but I refuse to see those 3+ years as the "best," or "most fun" out of the 80+ I have total. I have a whole career to start, a Father-provided mission to fulfill, a wife to love and cherish, and at least two kids to raise up. Sure, during high school you don't have that much responsibility, your parents take care of everything for you, and you can eat and do whatever you want pretty much. But now that I've been there and done that, now that I actually have some of those responsibilities, I don't know how anyone can wish for the "carefree days" again. I don't want less to do, I want more to do. Being married and raising kids doesn't scare me one bit; being 35-40 and still playing video games does.
When you teach your son, you teach your son's son. -The Talmud
Then, once school was done for the term (finally), and I was staying up late on this blog writing about how I never write, I started visiting some old favorites. I started listening to Kutless, Third Day, David Crowder Band, and some others, all my favorites that up until a couple nights ago I hadn't listened to in a long time. After I had worn out those, I would go on Myspace Music and play some of my even older favorites, like Nickelback, Linkin' Park, and right now I have Staind playing. I don't make it a habit to listen to much secular music, but when you're young and home schooled you look for any reason to be cool.
Listening to all these songs that I hadn't listened to in years, since my early years of high school for some of them, brought back some memories. Old memories of high school life, of homework, youth ministry, all-night video games, and Mountain Dew. Oh my, how I used to do the Dew. It was the fuel that allowed all us private school nerds to survive and thrive through an entire night of destroying one another in endless Halo and WarCraft battles.
Another thing that brought up these memories was when Kasey and I were reflecting on high school again this weekend, remembering parties and homework and boyfriends (only her on that last one, just to make sure we're clear). We laughed about the times we wasted, the food we used to eat with no second thoughts, the relationships that were and now are no more, and ended the conversation with observing how much we miss those days and yet don't at the same time.
During high school, there was nothing more fun than getting together with my few friends and going on a sugar-high all night to play as long as we could before finally crashing on whatever couch or chair or floor corner was available. I enjoyed the homework more then too. Back then I wrote papers on the monarchs of Europe or a re-write of Hamlet; now I write ten different papers on China-U.S.-Taiwan relations, or read an entire textbook and then take a quiz based primarily off the chapter titles. And now the latest I can stay up is about 2 or 3 in the morning, and that's only if I am writing a blog or writing out another China paper. Oh and now Mountain Dew disgusts me. I imagine that goat pee tastes about the same.
Looking at where I am now, I can't believe that I thought that was all fun. Maybe my innocence was destroyed after Bible college, or my first full time job, or getting married and having kids; I don't know (big surprise). But I do know that reading to my son or spending time with my wife does not compare in any way to playing some dumb computer game, no matter how great the game is or how many friends you play it with.
High school was great, but I refuse to see those 3+ years as the "best," or "most fun" out of the 80+ I have total. I have a whole career to start, a Father-provided mission to fulfill, a wife to love and cherish, and at least two kids to raise up. Sure, during high school you don't have that much responsibility, your parents take care of everything for you, and you can eat and do whatever you want pretty much. But now that I've been there and done that, now that I actually have some of those responsibilities, I don't know how anyone can wish for the "carefree days" again. I don't want less to do, I want more to do. Being married and raising kids doesn't scare me one bit; being 35-40 and still playing video games does.
When you teach your son, you teach your son's son. -The Talmud
December 14, 2008
That Annoying Feeling: Cake, Boots, and Theology Part 2
I was going to wait until later to write Part #2, but it's already really late, my words are fresh in my mind, and judging from the frequency of my last posts, I wouldn't have finished Part 2 until March. So here I am, going to be writing two blogs in the same month for the first time ever!
I left off previously with the dramatic poetic finish of how I don't know what's next, but the Father does. While that is very true, I wanted to share what I think might be next, or what "next" might look like.
My greatest, strongest, attention-getting drive is to make a difference. I've never wanted to be the kind of person that works a 9-5 job for 40-plus years, sits in the same church pew for as many years, and dies with just his immediate family missing him. I've always wanted something greater, grander, more dangerous than just being a cubicle-sitter and pew-warmer.
Now, let me clear something up. Before I realized how dumb I am, I wanted to make a "difference" by being a big-time Los Angeles music producer, making a bunch of money, attending all the award shows, and having my name printed in magazines and on billboards. Remembering back on this now just makes me laugh. So, to make sure we understand one another, I don't want to be famous or infamous or popular or adored; that's dumb.
What I do want is to "go out with my boots on." This line comes from one of my favorite films, "Secondhand Lions," with Robert Duvall and Michael Caine and Haley Joe Osment. It's about this young boy who doesn't have a father and whose mother deserts him with his two "crazy" uncles. It's a story that I grew to love, as it deals with some serious issues like manhood and having that male role model to guide and help you, and has some great ol' fashioned sword fighting scenes to boot. But one of the great points of the story is the type of men that the two uncles are, men who don't shy away from danger, who make right and moral decisions, and provide that strong guidance that the wayward young man needs. In the end, they are upheld as men who "went out with their boots on," as in they didn't lounge about watching television all day, or gradually lose all sense of their individuality sitting in a cubicle their entire lives. They walked with shoulders tall, unwavering.
This movie example leads me to my next point: how hard it is to balance the demands of our "modern" world with the desire to live life wearing boots wanting to make a difference. My family has to be first and foremost, for what kind of a man would I be if I could coach a winning team, or get that great promotion, or win that Nobel Prize while my wife and kids are miserable, lonely, and into drugs or worse? I wouldn't be a real man, that's for sure. If a man can't take care of his own family, how can he expect to change the world? Men who think that they need to divorce their wife and break up their family because their ministry is more important or "holier," or who think the executive position half-way around the globe is what's best for their family, are mistaken at best, selfish and blind at worst.
Then how can I best make a difference; how can I use the loves I've been given by my Creator and keep my family first? Part of this answer falls into the "I don't know, but my Father does" category. But I know that part of the answer has to do with a funny fact about boots: did you know that they can be worn anywhere? At the mall, in a classroom, on a battlefield, in space, at a desk, or while pulling your son around in his wagon and holding your wife's hand.
The "boots" I'm talking about don't need to be worn at a certain time, on a certain day, for a certain career path. No, the boots I'm talking about can be worn by anyone, anytime, anywhere, as it's not so much a type of footwear but more like knowing that there is more to the world than the four cloud grey walls of your cubicle, more to life than this month's bills, more out there to enjoy than just a piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Knowing that there is a purpose is just as important as knowing what that purpose is.
The End... but I'm sure I'll talk about this topic more in the coming days and weeks and years. There's lots of loose ends to clear up.
I left off previously with the dramatic poetic finish of how I don't know what's next, but the Father does. While that is very true, I wanted to share what I think might be next, or what "next" might look like.
My greatest, strongest, attention-getting drive is to make a difference. I've never wanted to be the kind of person that works a 9-5 job for 40-plus years, sits in the same church pew for as many years, and dies with just his immediate family missing him. I've always wanted something greater, grander, more dangerous than just being a cubicle-sitter and pew-warmer.
Now, let me clear something up. Before I realized how dumb I am, I wanted to make a "difference" by being a big-time Los Angeles music producer, making a bunch of money, attending all the award shows, and having my name printed in magazines and on billboards. Remembering back on this now just makes me laugh. So, to make sure we understand one another, I don't want to be famous or infamous or popular or adored; that's dumb.
What I do want is to "go out with my boots on." This line comes from one of my favorite films, "Secondhand Lions," with Robert Duvall and Michael Caine and Haley Joe Osment. It's about this young boy who doesn't have a father and whose mother deserts him with his two "crazy" uncles. It's a story that I grew to love, as it deals with some serious issues like manhood and having that male role model to guide and help you, and has some great ol' fashioned sword fighting scenes to boot. But one of the great points of the story is the type of men that the two uncles are, men who don't shy away from danger, who make right and moral decisions, and provide that strong guidance that the wayward young man needs. In the end, they are upheld as men who "went out with their boots on," as in they didn't lounge about watching television all day, or gradually lose all sense of their individuality sitting in a cubicle their entire lives. They walked with shoulders tall, unwavering.
This movie example leads me to my next point: how hard it is to balance the demands of our "modern" world with the desire to live life wearing boots wanting to make a difference. My family has to be first and foremost, for what kind of a man would I be if I could coach a winning team, or get that great promotion, or win that Nobel Prize while my wife and kids are miserable, lonely, and into drugs or worse? I wouldn't be a real man, that's for sure. If a man can't take care of his own family, how can he expect to change the world? Men who think that they need to divorce their wife and break up their family because their ministry is more important or "holier," or who think the executive position half-way around the globe is what's best for their family, are mistaken at best, selfish and blind at worst.
Then how can I best make a difference; how can I use the loves I've been given by my Creator and keep my family first? Part of this answer falls into the "I don't know, but my Father does" category. But I know that part of the answer has to do with a funny fact about boots: did you know that they can be worn anywhere? At the mall, in a classroom, on a battlefield, in space, at a desk, or while pulling your son around in his wagon and holding your wife's hand.
The "boots" I'm talking about don't need to be worn at a certain time, on a certain day, for a certain career path. No, the boots I'm talking about can be worn by anyone, anytime, anywhere, as it's not so much a type of footwear but more like knowing that there is more to the world than the four cloud grey walls of your cubicle, more to life than this month's bills, more out there to enjoy than just a piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Knowing that there is a purpose is just as important as knowing what that purpose is.
The End... but I'm sure I'll talk about this topic more in the coming days and weeks and years. There's lots of loose ends to clear up.
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